Made me weak in the knees, O’ I wish I had a river.

The thought of it makes it all connect into something beautiful, something that connects finally lets you have some sort of grip upon.  This little grip is breathing so much life into your very own being.  What gives? What helps? As you step out for a walk out the door and into a fresh new ground that smells of the wetness from the rain.  As the cool breeze makes its way into your nose and hair it reminds you to just, relax.  On days like these don’t seem to have much excitement, yes of course not on the outside but in the inside of your mind it is like parade that is coming through a desert place that seems to entertain your simple mind.  Many colors that seem to only come together in events like this, People’s faces and movements are strange but yet once you begin to see as to why they do what they do there is depth and it is ever so meaningful, almost somewhat beautiful. Go take a walk you suggest, only to release yourself from the thoughts of the day, yes that is the first thought.  But as you tend to walk farther and away from the original trail you wonder down a trail that is over grown with brush and leaves that takes you into a deeper wood of imagination and delight. You step one foot in front of the other.  You slowly trust your eyes to keep going in deeper, you stay on the trail of course.  You take your eyes off the path and point them straight right up towards the sky.  Your eyes begin to wonder.  You look around seasons are changing from summer to fall right before you eyes.  You get that warm feeling that this home is a home away from home.  You’re comfortable but yet so out of reach of anyone or anything familiar. The openness of the environment becomes your mind and heart.  Sensitive to sound, all movement, a touch, and emotion.  All of yourself becomes a box awaiting to fill with a treasure that will be sealed and kept safe from rust, mold, and corrosion. The flood of what comes out of this whole thing is traveling from your mind right to the very depths of your heart.  What you see now becomes something you feel.  It isn’t beautiful because its screaming “beauty!” but its beautiful because it makes you feel beautiful.  How can one small person ever be worth looking up to something/someone so beautiful, so perfect, so huge, as you hold your breath in for a gasp or sigh of air, the words… breath taking, spill out ever so naturally.  There are so many people in the world and you feel like you’re the only one who has taken this moment for what it really is at that moment… indescribable.  Every thing is beautiful in its exact spot.  How in the world could he ever make something so beautiful for you to enjoy.  You only speak because HE spoke first.  YOU only breathe because G-D has breathed HIS VERY OWN breath into you.  YOU are Poor and needy but G-D still thinks upon YOU.  This is no book, no teaching, no tall tail, this is the shock wave that brings you to your very knees.  Tears fall like rain from your eyes down your cheek slowly making its way off your face dropping suddenly to your feet.  The washing of feet with the sinner’s tears comes finally alive and very very real.  It is the only worthy emotion to show him.  The emotion of  “THANK YOU”, and “WHAT A BEAUITFUL GOD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GOD THERE MUST”.  Days yes change to weeks, weeks into months, months into years, summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring, and again spring right back to summer. I might change locations, and my feelings do change no doubt. But for once… G-D you do not change.  Neither does your beautiful perfection.  Since feelings change G-D and you do not, forever your creation will declare the beauty of your glory.  I will be forever be able to see it from afar who you are and how much of your goodness is painted across the universe. Here is my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. 

Psalm 50:7-15

I fell in Love with something named "today"

Looking through a window of a car is like watching a photo stream passing by and as they roll on you start to think of what it reminds you of.  you are having your head straight on before you finally realize that there is a whole other picture going on, that is waiting for your attention to be paid to it as if you owe it something or sometime in your life. You had been staring into the front of the car in the back seat for as long to the point where you for once in your so called busy life have time to not think about anything.  You have stared so long that it becomes like a movie the music from you radio that is on shuffle seems to get lighter and lighter and the theme music of your emotion begins to rise up to the highest.  You try to look down and begin ponder as to what you would want to make for dinner or how you needed to call so-and-so back.  but then you hear that Unique and so inviting voice out the side window that brings fourth the sunlight that is beaming on your shirt and the top part of your pants.  You finally are interested in these perfect pictures outside.  You begin to ponder and are captured to what possible you could do rather than take this oh so familiar drive back home where you get into the routine of habits.  Life is like a plane ride, you go off to a place to make something of your life and expecting to encounter into something that will change your life, or even to get away for a little bit. You come back from the flight and your right back where you started, right at the same gate. then you think "wow..wasn't i just here?..everything still looks the same." then it comes back to the  seat of the car you look around outside and fill empty because the memories that these pictures scroll through outside drain your everything.  But not completely because you have left hanging onto, is your piercing emotions that hit every part in your soul. you lay your head down on the door window seal and look up at the sky because now you have become so sucked into this entertainment and want to make yourself comfortable.  you look up and begin to relax and take a huge breath in and close you eyes and let go slowly.  suddenly you feel so much lighter it was like you let go and took out every knife in your soul and are now fully open to whatever the pictures may bring now.  you open your eyes and feel like there is whole new scenery outside. it seems different, its not like winter where everything that is left is old and dead, its now like spring everything is new and blooming and you can see the beauty of what's to come, you now know that there is a wonderful future ahead. new memories, new adventures, more people to meet.  you begin to smile because the way that those pictures have left you now are filling and refreshing.  you smile and laugh a little, your relaxed now and joyful, excited. Your like this because this time around you know that this time in this new year its going to be a good one. you take another deep breath in and..... exhale while smiling. you lift your head and take your hand out of your lap and stick out the window. it starts to go with the way of the wind and speed of the car and you start to sing a song that brings so much more joy to you. whatever that song might be you sing it, whisper it, mouth and close your eyes and smile. its like your hand has a paint brush in it, painting the scenery as it goes along, or your fingers become ebony pencils drawing the pictures as it comes your way.  You no longer are trying to focus on what's ahead but are now just looking to side taking in the moment. Take in the moment don't ignore things that are beautiful and inspire you. God created the hours, minutes, and seconds all to go together to make time so you can take the time to keep track of everything you can take in. Don't be so focused on what's ahead but look around and see what you have today to imagine and dream. Go crazy with creation that seems to fall like a beautiful picture in the moment. enjoy that drive to wherever you go. Enjoy the fact that you were created for that every moment to experience.

 

James 4:13-15