in all of this though is when i finally sit down to just try to rest away from my feelings that seem to consume me. knowing that even before i make them out of my mouth. my father in heaven knows what they are and where the come from. he already has stepped out on the water to come to my boat in the storm so tell me "it is I, do not be afraid." to hear the calm voice of my savior pushes satan behind me. making my cry known to God is the best thing that i can do right now even if it takes all my breath and energy to make it known. he is faithful to come and rescue me with a comfort of his arms.
i just want to be there i say to him but he has said just wait patiently your time is coming child. the only place where he wants me to be and i feel most safe and most needed to be is in his loving arms. on my knees at his feet. in his resting place. look i know i have messed
up especially when i have worn my heart on my sleeve. but the good thing about all this is that the Lord is still telling me that i am his and that i am the temple for his spirit and most of all he has still redeemed me. that he is still pursuing me like no human being could ever do. i need to be fixed and put into my right mind to be totally away from where i am now. i have been wishing that i really didn't have feelings instead of pretending sometimes to not have any. but this is the way the Lord has created me and i have to deal with it and just not think and the Lord get my soul into a healthy place. Lord if those dove eyes were really real for your children please give me those only fixed upon you. gone gone gone going. Trusting the Lord is a command. and the greatest commandment is actually doing it.
