ek the college has started a new block class which is going through the book of Joshua. the class are not taking place here at the college as you might presume. but instead the students who are taking the class are being sent down to the orphanage that the college is in the process of building. Kevin Green and some elders from his church have come down from Fort Brag california to teach this class. Well now here comes out my honesty of this class. the week before i had NO desire to go but i knew that John Bonner wanted me to go down and take pictures of this action to put on the blog site i am in charge of (see right hand links). but i was only going one day and it would have been soo expensive. So i had reasoned to but only only if a car was going back an forth to there and back to the college everyday because then if not i would have to stay the night down there with the rest of them. So i knew that the Lord was telling me to sign up so i did ONLY to do what i needed to do. My heart wasnt right for the longest time before. But then i would say a couple of days before the Lord had brought to my attention that i have been completely selfish especially with everything i have been experiencing. also what the Lord has been showing me is that I complain alot and all
think is myself and how I feel. so the Lord totally convicted me of that and when i had read about how Jesus was going to use Lazarus for his glory by raising him from the dead but the only way that Jesus could raise him from the dead was that he had to die like his flesh had to die but his spirit was going to live on because he had Loved Jesus very much and Jesus had loved him dearly. it totally was the Lord speaking to me how i need to be dying to my flesh in order for him to use me and that this not for me but for the glory of him. ever since i let my selfishness go i have never been so close to the Lord i trust him soo much more, more safe i feel. throughout this time i have been here i know that the Lord has been pursuing me. So since then i was really excited to go to the orphanage and work for the Lord. Then come to find out i would have to sit in on the classes which i was to excited about because if i wasnt taking it at the college why would i have to sit in on it? but any way the first day we got there we started to work. we painted, scrapped the walls, and cleaned up the dust and left over stuff we had token off. We did this probably the whole week while we were there. with a little dod
ge ball game break. Well the first night the class started. The first hour i didnt sit in because he was just sharing his testimony and i read alittle bit during that time (awesome time with the Lord...amazing) then i walked in at the break to listen to the other half and it was soooo Amazing! totally was the Lord speaking to me about how i need to be strong and not selfish and how the Lord wants to use me but i am full of selfishness and i have to empty myself to be filled with him. The Lord everyday after that night has been still speaking to me through other people and situations. I know i am here for sure now not to fall in Love with the Country but so the Lord can work in my heart because he has been speaking to my heart directly and changing my life by just his word. The last morning i was there the Lord had reminded me that the whole earth is fill with his goodness. Its soo crazy to think that we can see some of much of Gods goodness. what also really is bringing me so much comfort is the fact i have been praying about somethings in my Life and where, what and how i want him to lead me. He has been showing me how he sits in the heavens and sees me with his eyes and he will guide me and instruct me and hear my cry. The Lord has been soo good to me and i pray that it will never stop. i am like in this sweet sweet hiding place with him just me and him. falling deeply in Love with him is nothing but...simply pure goodness.
much love.
